Did you know that some of the things you do in your everyday life could be ruining your self-confidence? It’s easy to point fingers and claim that the words and actions of other people are to blame for your lack of self-confidence. In reality, there are a handful of practices you can engage in that will stop you from negative practices. Yes, other people can hurt your self-confidence, but think of these tips as a way to fight back against unsolicited negativity. Here are five ways you’re ruining your self confidence.
Self Deprecating Talk
There is a big difference between talking yourself up before hitting the gym and standing in front of the mirror and saying “I’m so fat.” This becomes an even bigger problem when you attempt to use self-deprecating humor when you are out with friends. You might tell yourself that it’s all a joke but you’ll be amazed how much you start to believe your own attempts at humor. “If you are wallowing in your insecurities and weaknesses and vocalizing that to other people, you are essentially begging for NEGATIVE attention and looking for other people to validate you,” Confidence coach Suzanne Fetting explains.
Put Yourself First
It’s not okay to put everyone else ahead of your own needs. That doesn’t mean you should stop saying yes to people who want you to pet sit or help them move. But a little bit of interest in your own goals is important to help you maintain a healthy lifestyle. It’s easy to start feeling like you are just a puppet for other people and that you are not being appreciated because your friends and family are trying to capitalize all of your time for their own needs. Relationship expert Iyanla Vanzant says it’s not necessarily a good thing to put yourself last. In an interview with Oprah Winfrey she was asked if it’s selfish to put yourself first. She responded: “It’s self-full to be first, to be as good as possible to you. To take care of you, keep you whole and healthy.”
Make “Me Time”
This goes along with our last tip. Sometimes you need to just “unwind” and recharge your batteries. Take a hot bath, drink a cup of tea, watch your favorite TV show. Do whatever makes you happy. This is how you realize your own self worth. You only live one life and you should have control over how you live that life. This is also important for your general health and nothing will boost your self-confidence like feeling healthy and happy.
Never Feel Like You Can’t Get Enough Done
If you live life with a never-ending TO DO list you are going to feel like you’re not good enough to “finish” tasks in your life. It’s easy to start thinking that your life is just a list you can’t accomplish and that’s going to cause issues with your self-confidence. The trick here is to not go crazy with tasks you will never complete in a single day. Set realistic expectations and you’ll feel like you accomplished a lot more when you’re easier to do list is completed.
Your Happiness Shouldn’t Have Conditions Attached To It
If you start to say things like “I’m really only happy when X happens” you are basing your happiness off of circumstances you might not always be able to control. If you are trying to control circumstances 100% of the time you will let yourself down for no reason. The more you feel like a failure the more you will believe you are failure. Instead, you should congratulate yourself when you do a good job with something you weren’t even expecting to handle.